Bothering me..
This past week something happened that I should be happy about but I´m not quite sure how I feel about it.
My STBExH is being transferred to San Diego and will be working as a tech at the facility where his girlfriend works.
He will be moving in with her. In three weeks.
I know that being separated will be good for us. I guess having him at work has been an emotional crutch for me.
In any case, I’m feeling sorta melancholy about it all.
Not that I would ever take him back… I know that he and I are not meant to be spouses. I suppose it is all part of the divorce grief crap. This is just another step in the untangling of our lives.
There is a part of me that is laughing out loud though. She has a studio apartment - no kitchen. It will be the two of them, in one room, and working together. The fact that he will be miserable in his new living arrangements makes me happy. In the show “Avenue Q” there is a song about that called “Schadenfreude” (happiness at the misfortune of others).
It is my favorite song.
Not that I want him to be miserable forever - but it makes it easier for me to know that his life isn’t all hearts and flowers. Petty of me, yes.
The suck thing about divorce is that sometimes you are alright with the situation and feel great about the fact that you get a “do over” and other times you go around thinking that your STBExH is an asshole rat bastard.
Right now, I’m in asshole rat bastard mode.
